When I was younger I struggled to accept myself. I felt I didn't fit in. I went thru multiple cosmetic surgeries but no matter what I felt sad and ugly. Needless to say empty beauty lead me to depression. Desperate for love and acceptance I engaged on loveless relationships
The anxiety led me to bad habits...
Such as smoking, drinking and over eating . But I had to keep trying so I joined a fitness group. Dedicated myself to exercise and nutrition. I lost many pounds and learned a skill for happiness. To dance until my face and heart smile.
I became a Fitness Instructor
I got certified in Full Body Fitness. A high intensity full body work out with south american beats. I grew closer to my Peruvian roots. Each track more complicated than the previous one. It challenged my body and mind. I also got certified as a Zumba Fitness instructor. The fiscal benefits that come with daily exercise where the foundation for my desire to become a better person. But I still didn't feel complete, o I searched for professional therapy. On one session miss Donna said something that changed my life forever..."Design your Dream Life! From work to family. If you know what you want. You will find direction"
After all, I had 2 big reasons to design a better life!
So I began to search for my dream job. And since I love to make people happy and I myself was on the pursuit of beauty I chose Esthetics.
So I went to School and I became an Esthetician.
I love helping others and making them feel confident! I learner all about the world of skin care, ingredients, lashes, hair removal and so much more. This was an exciting time on my life! And after graduation I felt confident permanent make up will be easier, but I was wrong! My permanent cosmetics tattooing instructor was my longtime friend Paola Soto. Each training day was harder than the previous one. She had very high expectations and delivered the highest standard on training. Being her friend made no difference as she expected even more from me.
Becoming a Permanent Cosmetics Tattooing Artist.
Due to my previous knowledge on skin care and the intensive classes at Synergy Beauty Academy I passed my Virginia examination with a high score. As I got more involved on the beauty I realized that permanent cosmetics created a notable change on my client's appearance and it became my passion. But the basic training wasn't enough so I kept following my instructor, tried to learn the most and assisted her as a translator on her classes.
I opened Timeless Beauty Secrets Spa
And worked day and night to perfection my craft. I enjoyed having my work space and started holistic work such as Reiki and Ayurveda. During this time I treated 100s of clients and gained vast experience on the beauty field. From ingredients, that provide real results on my clients skin to realizing I don't like to apply lash extensions, as well as the instant benefits on the look and appearance of clients who received permanent cosmetics.
Modeling and Socialite
I worked on shows and events. I was invited to every party and entertained on events with Tito Nieves and Willie Gonzales. Things where going great and business was blooming.
I obtained Artist recognition with SVIATO Academy
An international Permanent Cosmetics Academy with the highest standard on the permanent cosmetics field.
I was lucky to have my friend and mentor... Paola Soto
She always saw my potential, even before I did. She encouraged me to grow on the industry and in many other ways. I couldn't have had a better life coach!
But I cried at night and the feelings of missing something wouldn't stop. So I began my search for inner beauty.
I learned to meditate, the use of crystals, and reiki to cleanse the aura. I went thru a deep introspection period.
I continued my education and Became a Master on Permanent Cosmetics Tattooing.
Learned more advanced techniques such as how to tattoo areola for woman who have loss a breast with cancer, how to treat scars, and variety of permanent cosmetics techniques. But COVID-19 came and I had to close my new business and secluded myself along with my family. My father had cancer, diabetes and heart problems so it was a very difficult time. Just like for everyone else, this was a time to spend at home.
So I stayed home with my family and enjoying my little Cutie Patuti!
My seven pounds miniature schnauzer was my spoiled baby and my shadow. I would groom him myself, I would dress him up and sleep with him. As seclusion weeks turned to months I tried to find new ways to make the most out of my time.
I learned new hobbies...
Such as beading with semiprecious gems and crystals helped me explore my creativity. I also became more serious about riding on 2s since it was a way to socialize without breaking quarantine.
I even joined a motorcycle association who claimed being a family association.
But even tho it looked as if I was living the dream life. I unknowingly got myself into a hard to handle situation. As the motorcycle community is a male dominated world; the man in the association where constantly making inappropriate advances on me and bullying me when didn't do as I was told. Depression and anxiety was slowly eating me alive, I was restless and decided to ride search for other female riders. So my first long ride I rode alone, to an all female riders event in Key West, Florida.
Damas ride to Key West, Florida.
I wasn't an experienced rider, so I went up until 4th gear, I was lucky my motorcycle didn't get damaged on the road. The clutch was super hard on my soft hand and as I was nervous I would hold on tight on the handle bars. My leather gear was appropriate for north east weather, but not for Florida weather and I didn't have enough trunk space to store my heavy riders jacket. I arrived to the meeting point over heated, crying and dizzy. That day I met my soul sisters who without knowing me, saved me, uplifted me and help me began my search for justice. What I didn't know was that I was about to learn the lesson of my life.
So as I was directed by my new friends, I turned to the leadership of this large international organization.
And explained the injustices that I was a victim of and the ugly things I had been a witness of. But the President of the National Board was helpless with my case and wasn't the one in charge of my particular chapter. So I went even higher and contacted the founder and International President of this organization. He said he would help me and I trusted him. But it was all a charade. I didn't know that it was all a corrupt system where all complains where turned into expulsions of the innocent parties. A totalitarian system and as a victim voicing her complaints, I was on their way. So as many victims, I was shamed, silenced and played; then used as a pawn on a bigger game. My desire to belong make me blind of the reality and willingly I stayed on a toxic environment that led me to make poor decisions and soon after I paid a high price for them.
He left before I met him.
Words can not describe the pain and mourning of a mother's loss. I wanted him, I named him, I sang to him, I loved him and will forever remember the one I carried but never met. I kept asking myself why? Why is this happening to me? But I had no answer. Only felt confusion and a dark cloud surrounded me. I couldn't see past my pain. I checked out. I was numb.
Shame and Pain
This was the roughest time on my life. I turned to alcohol and day after day I was withering away. Waking up every day was so difficult and I kept loosing track of time. My life had turned into a nightmare to which I had loss all control. While spiraling down into the abysm of alcoholism the friends who didn't like to see me like this where rejected and blocked and those of low moral who will fuel my desease and wanted to exploit my weaknesses, seemed to be friends. Soon I found myself alone, broke and achy. I kept saying to myself "I will stop tomorrow, this is the last one." "I wouldn't be feeling like this if, this wouldn't have happened to me." "Tomorrow I will get back on track" But no matter how much I tried to find the exit I couldn't stop and get back on track. I was so far gone that I probably would have died or ended up on a tragic event if I didn't had one real friend, one good friend who never left. Her name is Yoli.
She is more precious than rubies and more valuable than gold!
A real friend is hard to find and this beautiful lady didn't let me go. Her love guided thru the dark night of the soul to finally find the path out of the darkness and into the light. Like this I was lead to an online AA meeting. When the question was asked I raised my hand, not really knowing what it meant. My hole life was about to change.
On a cold winter day, I found my sobriety.
All this years I have been surrounding my self with people who looked beautiful to my eyes. But this time I was helped by those I wouldn't have turned to look twice before. The intentions of this people was to help me, and although they wasn't the most beautiful crowd. They seemed to be brutally honest. But their stories weren't so different different than mine. So in many thing I could relate to them. I didn't allow the cultural differences or unorthodox views to drive me away. Oposite from that, I realized that if they could recover. I could do it too. So I accepted that l was powerless against alcohol and that I couldn't do it alone. Since I joined AA I haven't had an alcoholic beverage again. For the first 90 days I went every single day. I had to prioritize my recovery above all things.
"One day at the time"
I took my mini schnauzer to every meeting.
The AA said I had to believe on something other than myself, in God or a superior power. And although I had grown on a religious family and explored several religions on my 20s I didn't had a faith. But never the less I prayed and kept cleaning my life. My moral compass began to work again and it inevitably lead me to have faith like I never experienced before. Opossite from well intentioned friends who will say "do it for your kids or for your parents", the AA taught me that I have to do changes, for myself and that human beings are flawed and might disappoint me or even die one day, and I would be looking back at the bottle. That my alcoholism was a symptom of a major problem that soon it will be revealed to me. They where preparing me for the challenges that come with being alive.
First things First!
I gave more and more attention to work.
And perfectioned my craft. Study, practice, repeat! And I obtained further recognition. Became an Stylist on the International SVIATO Academy and a Master & Instructor on Permanent Cosmetics Tattooing and Esthetics.
But life is full of challenges and the day came...
When he suddenly got sick. The hardest desition was not to be selfish and let him go. His love took me thru all this years of soul search. But I was prepared and stood strong against his loss.
My parent's 50th Wedding Anyversary
When you start doing things right. Priorities change. Spending quality time with my beautiful family is my priority.